"Ways you deal with jerks who want to play in your game" Topic

We all know them, and most of them by name or description. That local who shows up at your convention or club and makes the game you're in a miserable experience. How do you cope?
This applies to whether you are running the game or just playing in it.

Running it? Kindly but firmly ask them to stop. That fails – tell them to leave.

Playing in it? Kindly but firmly ask them to stop. That fails, leave.

Ditto Dentatus. The idea is to have fun, not put up with jerks. I get enough of that at work.

I game out of my home most of the time, so I just don't invite those people. There is just one guy I am kind of stuck with…he is the brother of a good friend, and an absolute ass. The standing rule is when he gets out of hand we take turns hitting him. For each offense he gets one in the arm, when everyone at the game has had to hit him he has to leave. It sounds kind of immature, but we find that as his arm starts to hurt he starts minding his manners.

I find that a pithy "Look, will you just off and stop bothering me?" usually does the trick. If that fails, then a repeated " off!" with increasing volume never fails.

Like Paintbeast we game in a residence, so it is not really a problem. If it happened to me in game I'm playing in in a con, R Mark's solution would be good.
Weaselhoffen.

stare at them like your going to rip their arms off and use them as clubs while you beat them senseless. This only really works though if you look like me.

as I won't run a convention game for the most part if there is a jerk playing that gets to me I just hand my command off and leave.
Unfortunateloy there is not much you can do if you are running a game because sadly the "Customer" is always right in the eyes of most convention staff so you can't ask them to leave as they paid to participate

I keep telling me that if I don't stop, I'll kick my butt. So far I haven't caught up with me to administer said butt kicking.

It would be interesting if everybody simply attacked his troops, wiping him out. I was in close combat with a friend who was expecting aid coming up. The said aid merely sailed by leaving my opponent up the proverbial creek. He turned to me and said, "I won't shoot at you this turn if fire everything at him." We both shot at his "rescuer."
Weaselhoffen.

"The said aid merely sailed by leaving my opponent up the proverbial creek. He turned to me and said, "I won't shoot at you this turn if fire everything at him." We both shot at his "rescuer." "

There is nothing in any rulebook that says you cannot do that. I like that approach. Guy deserved it. Did you guys wipe him out? Did he ever get the message?

In a similar vein, we had a guy who ruined every game of "Diplomacy" for everyone. We set an open rule that we would wipe out whatever country he represented, then start playing the game. He got the message and changed his behavior.

Being mindful and polite usually works for me. You have to give respect to gain respect. Banter is one thing but being rude and obnoxious is not on. I tend not to have problems playing with people because I treat people the way I expect them to treat me.

Even if they are rude to me, I still treat them with respect.

I completely understand the above points, but I would suggest that Step One should be to take a deep breath and remind yourself that it's just toy soldiers.

The guy you're talking about?
A careless comment that comes across wrong, something you intended to be amusing but somebody takes offence at, a move on the table that makes sense to you, but looks to others like you're playing a 'spoiler', and suddenly YOU'RE that guy.

Most people who come across as ****s don't mean to, and we've all got it in us.

The answer is an amiable word to ensure that moments of carelessness don't become established behaviour.

I usually start by asking them if they wouldn't mind not commenting too loudly as it's off putting (very British me :P) Then if they don't get the hint I inform that there is a rule in my club that you don't come within 6ft of my table unless you wished to get banned immediately. Pretty no nonsense but then I've had enough, even by age 24, of idiots back-seat gaming for me.

Tell him why he isn't welcome to the game and stick to your guns. He will either learn to change his act or he won't wither way he won't be at the table.

Brian

When I was in college we had a pretty decent Risk group that would meet when we were outof beer money. It was an unwritten rule that if somebody was acting the jerk, all other combatants ceased all conflicts and turn to annilate the disruptive player. After awhile, they get the point.

CPT Miller,
He is one of those who is totally averse to taking any casualties. His ship had suffered minor damage, so he was off to get away. He had more sail than me and my opponent, so he took some more damage, but got away. Scott and still think that was our finest 20 minutes.
Weaselhoffen.

Hadn't heard of this one before, but at the just completed Little Wars convention a game of Nazis vs Dinosaurs was running. The problem wasn't with one of the players but one of the spectators. His continual criticism of the game was spoiling it for everyone and no one seemed to have any idea what to do since you couldn't throw him out of a game he wasn't playing. Anyone else have an experience like that?

Dentatus, FTW. EVERYBODY's Win.

I knew someone who used to make pointed comments about a game/army/figures to someone else while standing a few feet from the table just loud enough so that the players could hear. I ignored him and evetually the lack or a reaction meant he got bored and went and whined elsewhere.

Ran into this once with a guy who, though otherwise nice, had a tendency to publicly curse his girlfriend. The awkward silences that followed such tirades apparently rolled off his back.

In the end I wrote him an email and told him that this wasn't working out. I got called an hole. Go figure.

We're not really talking about 'toy soldiers' in this context – we're talking about social interaction with other human beings. I also think most of us here are mature enough to recognize an isolated/awkward comment or a fellow gamer having a bad day.

Sad fact is there are clueless jerks out there and occasionally you have to get the out of the pool, or it ruins everyone's day.

I believe that's what the original post referred to.

stare at them like your going to rip their arms off and use them as clubs while you beat them senseless. This only really works though if you look like me.

@Jakse: Or if you have a reputation for having done something of the sort already, like me in high school.

Otherwise, I like the ", you carpet stain" idea.

Your Game?

Just say, "NO. Please go."

Explanations can be given later.

As a GM you don't have to explain nor do you have to accept cetain anti-social behaviors. "Explanations" on the spot usually turn into arguments. Just be willing at a later time/date to quietly explain what behavior is unacceptable and what is necessary if said player/spectator wants to participate in the future.

Some people are teen-agers emotionally/mentally forever but they, IMO, cannot be allowed to act that way in the presence of adults forever.

Gracias,

Glenn