"(...click)" Topic

Variety Show…In later seasons, Dean Martin worked with many regular performers, such as Dom DeLuise and Nipsey Russell in sketches set in a barber shop; Kay Medford and Lou Jacobi in sketches set in a diner, and Medford also pretending to be the mother of Martin's pianist, Ken Lane. Guy Marks, Tom Bosley, Marian Mercer, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Rodney Dangerfield were also featured on multiple occasions, while bandleader Les Brown was a regular…(click)

…screw up!

Stockdale…how would you like to be Permanent Latrine Orderly?

PLO??? Well Go-LEEE! Thank you…

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please, thank you.
Ohhh, thank you, thank you….

Domo arrigato, Mr. Roboto, domo (domo)…
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-NATE, ON THREE ! ONE ! TWO ! THR

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"…usting into full action, right here on your radio! It's the all night science fiction radio show! Tonights episode: the invaders that came from…
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…being launched into space on regular basis.

Awww…go blow your jets Tom. Those space probes won't be able to detect…

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lipstick on your collar ? No problem ! JiffyWipes will
remove that incriminating

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…evidence.

…But Pop. She has an air tight alibi. This will be a waste of time.

Number two son…time only wasted when sprinkling perfume on goat farm.

Aww gee Pop. I'm sure that…

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the quality of Merci, while not strained, is at least
filtered through a 4-micron sleeve. Still, there are
microbes which

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familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day…(click)

fighter common to Bloc forces. While the Faggot is a bit
more nimble than the Sabre, the fact remains

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that too many cooks spoil the soup and too many pigs create a lot of po…(click)

poor man's version of Hamlet, with the Danish prince portrayed by then-unknown Richard Thomas, later to win cultural icon as John-Boy Walton in "the Homecoming".

The ersatz Shakespearian production got off to a, literally, shaky start when part of the proscenium detached…
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…from the shaft allowing the head to fall off. This is a common occurance when using…

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cheap women! And what do you expect when you consort with lowlife bad influences? Your sons will be marked for…
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demolition since I met you…this house has started to decay
And every wall that once was clean…has turned a shade of gray.

So much to rescue…so much you just can't understand
Now the streets are dark and empty…and the problems in our hands.

I can't leave you. see back home my house is falling down.
I can't leave you. and back home my house is falling down

Since I met you…my basement has started to bleed
The floors are all collapsing…still I'm begging to be free…(click)

balloons for the kiddies at Smilin' Al's, along with
the best previously-owned cars in town ! We've got
sedans, sporters, convertibles, family vans, SUV's
AND for you hayseeds out there, a good ol' horse 'n
wagon ! So come on down, right

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yer right)
Yer baby was there when you left,
(Yer right)
Jody was home when you left,
(Yer right)
Sound off!
(One, two!)
Sound off!
(Three, four.)
Cadence Count!
One, two, three, four. One, two, three-four!
Your baby was lonely – as lonely as could be …
(Until Jody provided company!)
Ain't it great to have a pal…
(Who works so hard to keep up morale!)
You ain't got nothing to worry about…
(He'll keep her happy till I get out!)
You won't get out until the end of…

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the day, it all counts for the bottom line, right ?
So what matter if we lump it in cost or expense, or
even a line item called 'frivolities' ? The tax guys
will happily

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never after because Rumplestiltskin STOLE A BABY! That's about as EVIL as it GETS…Yes, well, ah, we're more nocturnal villains…You see, that means we operate at night so just create a distraction, sneak up on her, and jump…(click)

yeah, go ahead and jump! Manny, do you think your life is worth anything but a morbid entertainment for a crowd of parasites? Standing on that ledge and whingeing only eggs them on and fills their little mean hearts full of a feeling of superiority! Now for God's sake, Manny, show them that you have value and are better than the mob of sick voyeur vultures yelling for you to splatter your…
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butter into the hot cast iron skillet…add the chopped garlic and onions…once softened introduce the octopus tentacles, tomatoes, and…(click)

Iaaa! Fthagn! Fthagn!
Nyatalu alif'aai Martha Stewart fthagn!

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the pronouncing dictionary of the Wazicth, a very obscure
culture on the West Coast of Africa. Very learned, and
highly intellectual, the

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some people believe that when you die there is a wonderful light…As bright as the sun but it doesn't hurt to look into it…All the answers to all the questions you want to know are inside that light…And when you walk to it… you become a part of it forever…Now, some people die, but they don't know they're gone…(click)

…"Down Mexico Way". Starring Gene Autry. Now showing at your local theater. A rip roaring, rootin' tootin'…

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Waco Kid…I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty…I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep…Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around…and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid…Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away…Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since…(click)

…to do in case of an atomic attack. Put your head between your legs…

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and just let it flow. Whatever's causing that ol'
tummy to be roiled and upset will come right out !

Now, how to treat

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…venereal disease. Fall out for a "short arm" inspection wearing only a raincoat and combat boots. Be prepared to…

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speak for these people…Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place…So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all…Sure as I know anything, I know this – they will try again…Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean…A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people…better…And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'…I aim to misbehave…(click)

and to have the best time of what's left of life ! Any
y'all want to come along, just grab a-holt and

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…ride along with Tom Mix and the Ralston Straight Shooters!

hot Ralston for your breakfast
starts the day off shining bright
gives you lots of cowboy energy
with a flavor that's just right
It's delicious and nutritious
Made of golden western wheat
take a tip from Tom…go and tell your mom
Hot Ralston can't be

the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the…(click)

worst? We will do our best!

(loud cheering}

Perhaps it may be our turn soon. Perhaps it may be our turn…

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If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.
If you're gonna try, well stick around,
Gonna cry, just move along,
If you're gonna die, you're gonna die,
Gonna die! Die with your boots on,
If you're gonna try, well stick around,
Gonna cry, just move along,
If you're gonna die, you're gonna…(click)

….. A vast crowd has gathered here today, lining the route to pay homage to this great man of the people, this …. Oh my! There seems to be some disturbance in the crowd, some sort of panic. …..

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Attack ! With everything – hold nothing back !
Slay them ! Slay all the

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is the entire story, your Honor. The alleged incident
never happened, and the alleged miscreant is totally and
completely innocent. As his attorney, I really cannot
speculate as to why anyone would

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have danced all night,
I could have danced all night
And still have begged for more!

I could have spread my…
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butter on the semi-stale bread, top with two slices of
American Cheese. Heat your griddle to

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"..the international corn hole championship games here in Indianapolis Indiana. Indiana…It's a state where corn-holing has become a number one…"

"CLICK!!!!!*
(real fast)….

backward glances: our games of make believe are at an end…Past all thought of "if" or "when" – no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend…

What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us…(click)

pain in the rear, kid! Why can't you go to school, or rob a candy store, or do something, somewhere else, huh? And quit following me--ya make me nervous! Why, if I was yer pop I'd…
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shout at the devil
He'll be the love in your eyes
He'll be the blood between your thighs
And then have you Cry for more
He'll put strength to the test
He'll put the thrill back in bed
Sure you've heard it all before
He'll be the risk in the kiss
Might be anger on your lips
Might run scared for the door
But in seasons of wither
We'll stand and deliver
Be strong and laugh and…(click)

tomorrow, we shall

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…have a winner. Mr. Carl LaFong of Brooklyn New York has stumped our panel of experts on Information Please. So we are sending

(sound of cash register) Ca-ching!!

Ten dollars and a case of…

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hives, sometimes caused by eating tomatoes, sometimes
due to stress and at times due to

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Space…is big…Really big…You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindboggingly big it is…but all you really need is a towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have…Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus Ⅴ, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough…(click)

is for a better economic outlook, therefore we can
all look forward to

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