"What are the most unrealistic wargamers' expectations?" Topic

If this ever does make it to a Poll, I would ask Bill to eliminate anything that is a thinly disguised jibe at specific members.

1) Plastic manufacturers should make figures that no one makes in metal.

2) Hollywood should make a 4 part trilogy of movies based on their favorite novel or war.

3) Wargaming manufacturers are immune to the economy, and should charge 1986 prices.

4) Large corporate holders of various trademarks, copyrights and the like will ignore a little manufacturer making a range of figures based on their favorite movie, TV show, graphic novel, etc.

5) A wargaming range will ever be "complete".

6) A given set of rules should be 'realistic'. This conceit is often held by wargamers of their own, self penned, rules. Which they wrote because they consider Empire, Challenger or Harpoon too gamey.

7) We'll all quit quibbling over which set of Napoleonic rules are the best, develop consensus that the version adapted by my cousin Larry in his garage is "the one" and stop playing all the others…

8) There is a Universal Basing Standard, which every rules set should follow.

i think rule 3 is not far off the truth,

9) That everyone is looking for the same gaming experience that they themselves enjoy

10 – That I must always win!

10) That manufacturers have the time to take pictures of all of their figures in at least three formats: painted, bare metal and with a black wash over them.

10) That a movie based on a historical period will be 100% historically accurate and NOT have anything added or tweaked to help tell a good yarn. And Hollywood will adopt an ISO2000 compliant QA process to find and correct any and all anachronisms regardless of scale, severity, or cost. After all, gamers want to see a documentary when they go to see a movie.

11) An end to scale creep.

12 – That every 6mm figure in a 1:1 Waterloo game needs to be painted to award winning standards to include individual eye color, the correct shade of uniform and that regimental battleflags should be made of real cloth and hand stitched by elves or else "the game sucks"

Ah

12a) That there is (or should jolly well be) a correct shade for every uniform ever worn. And it should be available as a <insert favourite paint brand> colour

13- That (a) the con will have chicks and (b) if any are present they won't be the 300lb warrior princess in the chainmail bikini.

"11) An end to scale creep."

I hope not! I am putting together an order from them.

12) There will be plenty of time to game or paint this weekend

13) I can keep gaming/painting after getting married, no problem

14) I can keep gaming/painting after having kids, no problem

If you make it, they will buy it!

I want Perry quality figures (or insert the name of your high quality company) from every manufacturer at 1986 prices.

No matter where I live, all manufacturers should pay the shipping cost, import duties and taxes associated with the product that I have ordered from them.

"Plastic manufacturers should make figures that no one makes in metal"

But they do, how many figure manufacturers make British paras shooting their mates in the sky, a bloke sitting on an oil drum eating something with a spoon then putting it in his ear (four in a box!), THAT French Napoleonic gunner figure, a man running forward on one foot yet looking over his shoulder etc etc? All available for decades in plastic yet not in metal. Now, whether they should have been made is another matter….

Re. those 'Brit Paras'…

Let's see any metal manufacturer sculpt figures wearing U.S. four-pocket tunics, U.S.-pattern webbing, armed with U.S.-issue Bazookas and Reising M-50's, market them as 'Allied Paratroopers' for a few years, and then relabel them as 'British Paratroopers'.

I'm actually okay with the 'shooting your mate in the air' pose. Never agreed with PSR's apparent conviction that firefights should only occur on bowling greens.

That you'll ever finish painting the lead.

You never should finish. Doom lies that way.

15. That the game will include every possible type of weapon, compute proper angle of artillery impact to correctly calculate penetration, have correct bonuses or detractions for elite or conscript, take into account weather, time of day, mood of general, communication lines from recon, illness and fatigue, supply, ordinance, uniforms…
all in a one-page clearly laid-out, no-room-for-wrong-interpretation rulebook with games lasting less than two hours, start to finish.

That the scale you've decided to game in should be the top priority of companies making the games you want, despite the fact that some other scale is clearly more popular.

16. Whirled Peas

i think rule 3 is not far off the truth,

I'll second that.

Well, for the tournament gamers out there

17. That you will win often, and demonstrate your superior generalship to all.

Hey kid, its an apprenticeship, and you will lose lose lose until you earn your stripes…

18. Not just that they should ignore the economy and charge 1986 prices, but they should do it as a work of love, provide their products at cost or less, and not make a profit to stay in business.

19. Don't become a successful business with an excellent product that thousands of people enjoy and support. If you do, you're evil and only out to sell more of your products.

20. The figure line must have a sufficient number of boobies, yet not more than enoug to offend anyone.

21. I can retire early and rich enough to wargame for years to come with pro painted figures that I can afford on a whim.

22. That they will ever have enough time to play all the games they own, paint all the minis or use all the terrain . . . . .

21) That we'll ever have enough figures?

- That if I am not just winning but dominating, there must be something wrong with the rules.

-- If a rules set isn't 'complete' (what I think should be complete) I won't play or buy it -- never mind the rules set states very clearly it is limited in scope.

-- British lines should always beat French Columns and French Columns should beat everything else.

-- Tiger tanks are too tough. There should be a chance that my 57mm gun can take it out at long range

-- If my Tiger tank gets destroyed (no matter what the circumstances) there is a problem with the rules.

-- no set of rules should take more than two hours to play

-- any set of rules that takes less than two hours cannot provide an interesting or fun game.

I could go on all day.

mjc

1986 prices – are you mad? Surely pricing should return to 1960s levels – which is when I first started buying Airfix 20mm figures and equipment at 2 bob (thats 10p in 'new money') per box of figures or vehicle or aircraft.

That if I wait long enough, my miniatures will clean, prep, and paint themselves…….

that the campaign you just designed will run smoothly at your club and be fun.

GW should finally realize that their true market
is the 30's-50's guys and drop their prices to
match the Old Glory club discount.

23) All figures in a given scale should be EXACTLY the same height.

24) New figures will come out on the scheduled release date.

25) That I can use my old DBA armies, with out change, when the new addition comes out.

That the campaign you've spent months and hundreds of man-hours designing will be of even passing interest to anyone in your club.

My painting skills will increase exponentially with little or no effort.

Any game I play at a con will end perfectly in the allotted slot.

Time will magically appear to play, and gnomes, elves or gremlins will magically finish all the neglected work around the house.

Everyone will be as excited by my new period as I am.

42) I will find a group of gamers near my home that are interested in the same games that I like, enjoy playtesting and experimenting with new game designs, are available for gaming at the same times I am, and don't drink alcohol.

10 – That I must always win!

I have no problem with you winning all the time, just not against me.

"11) An end to scale creep."

I hope not! I am putting together an order from them.

Good one!

don't drink alcohol.

Is it okay if I gulp mine down then?

43)That everybody really wants to hear for the umpteenth time
how they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.
Except for my stories of course!!!!!!!!

That the world will magically conform to their bizarre, obscure desires.
-Kle.

That a 6 is rolled every time it's needed instead of the 1 that always comes up instead

Is it too much to ask that vehicles sold as 1/100th, 1/76th or whatever, actually are.

47) If a Napoleonic ruleset doesn't include fatigue, mud influence on movement for infantry, cavalry and different kinds of artillery, precise rules on cannonballs trajectory, orders written on piece of papers given to players that have to run around the house for the time needed to deliver them on the battlefield, well it is crap.

48) Players should stay awake 72 hours before play a WWII skirmish on eastern front.

49) Just because you love a certain set of rules, or period, or genre, or scale, or line of figures, everyone else will love it too.

50) next generation bio-enginered nanno controled miniatures will soon be in store : real living and remotly controled fully animated miniatures , acting nearly like humans but 1 inch tall , all along with fubctional equipments .
Not the less onc you get the miniatures , you only need to buy a package of accessories to change uniforms and weaponry each time you wish to play a different period .
only wondering what will those bio-enginered toy do during non-gaming period … slave work ? training ?