"June 2010 Radio Daze (Click)" Topic

…is not just destruction, it's warmth, safety. Water is not just calm, it can be a tsunami, a flood…….

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…of mail has come in to "Information Please" suggesting that Groucho Marx should be a regular on the panel. so…

Hey wait a minute!

Yes Mister Marx?

I said that i'd never join a club that would have someone like me for a member…

(audience laughter)

…well, that goes for this panel too!

(audience laughter)

Mister Levant has his hand up. Yes, mister Levant?

I'd never be on a panel that would have someone like Groucho for a member. I quit!

(audience laughter)

Well, that only leaves Mr. Kieran and Mister Adams. Maybe we can…

fire up the Wayback Machine Sherman!
Where are we headed Mr. Peabody, how about New York City and scope out Kim K?
Sorry Sherman, we are going to New York, but we will see what many people consider one of the seven wonders of the modern world.
Rachel Welch??
No Sherman, We are going to New York City to the first of May, nineteen thirty-one, to the opening of the Empire State Building.
Oh goody, Fay Wray, now your talking!!

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…my language. Let's get going.

Hold on. We need to case the joint first. You and Left head down to…

time of six PM, just before the closing of the dockyard gates. However, in a flagrant disregard for routine, Reich decided to take matters -

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not what your country can do for you,
But what you can do for your
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..'re dead, Jim…..

(McCoy, "Amok Time," stardate 3372.7)

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-my this lock open and we'll be inside the vault.
Now, hand me that screwdriver and
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…and the screws and i'll have this door fixed in a jiffy.

McGee…I wouldn't open that closet just to fix the squeek. You know what happens when you open it.

Oh pshaw! I'll just open the door a bit and…

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…After a time, you may find that 'having' is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as 'wanting.' It is not logical, but it is often true……
(Spock, "Amok Time," stardate 3372.7)

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…that hasty deduction, like old egg, look good from outside.

But Pop…we have no time to lose. He might get away! We have to turn over the evidence now!

Easy to criticize, more difficult to be correct and it takes very rainy day to drown duck.

Wait…what!?

Does this mean what I think it do?
It do.
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…you know what it's like alone, really alone? [They gave me] weapons, shelter, food -- everything I needed to live --except companionship … to send me here alone -- if that is not death, what is?……

(Zarabeth of Sarpeidon, "All Our Yesterdays," stardate 5943.9.)

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the maximum airspeed velocity of a sparrow?
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…yes Mister Levant?

The cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour.

That's pretty amazing Mister Levant. How did you know that?

I watched my cat chase one the other day.

(audience laughter)

Be that as it may, the question refers to a sparrow, not a swallow.

Tell that to my cat. He doesn't chase sparrows. He's finicky that way.

(audience laughter)

Well, if nobody on the panel has the answer, "Information Please" will send ten dollars and a case of…

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crabs to your bill, Mr. Smith. They're not as expensive this time around. Unlike other times, these weren't hard to catch!"
"Well, Ralph, I don't mind getting crabs if I have the scratch…
Click

…I will put it right on the nose, as betting on Whirlaway is like money from home.

Well, I do not wish to contradict you, but as every citizen from here to Broadway knows, Dave the Dude is putting down a pile of dough on…

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the sideboard to rise, covering it with a damp -

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…ing mechanism that controls the oscillations.

I'm not a scientist Doctor Zarkov. Give it to me in English.

It means that we can sabotage the death ray before…

It slices! It dices! It makes Julienne Fries! It's just astounding! The Popiel Pocket…<click>

was surrounded by Patton's Third Armored Division, then carpet
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-ed with moss, lichens, and that delicate mix of fallen, decaying leaves and needles that is known as--

*click*

…..they used to say, if man could fly, he'd have wings. But he did fly; he discovered he had to. Do you wish that the first Apollo mission hadn't reached the moon, or that we hadn't gone on to Mars and then to the nearest star? That's like saying you wish that you still operated with scalpels and sewed your patients up with catgut, like your great, great, great-grandfather used to do … Dr. McCoy is right in pointing out the enormous danger potential in any contact with life and intelligence as fantastically advanced as this. But I must point out that the possibilities -- the potential for knowledge and advancement is equally great. Risk -- risk is our business….

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(Kirk, "Return to Tomorrow," stardate 4768.3)

…and business is good!

Lefty…get those bottles of Scotch ready for delivery.

OK Boss…but the hijackers from the DeBlasio mob will be looking out for this shipment.

Don't worry. We're going send a couple of guys with choppers along with the shipment, and DeBlasio's mob will be in for a big surprise.

Heh Heh…sounds good Boss, we'll take care of those mooks once and…

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I'll be danged if I'm a gonna tell you agin.
Now get yer scrawny hide out there and
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…scrape all the fat off it. When it's smooth you can use the animals brain to…

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..all mankind -- may we never find space so vast, planets so cold, heart and mind so empty that we cannot fill them with love and warmth…….

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(Garth, "Dagger of the Mind," stardate 2715.2)

… of the Tauntan to keep Luke alive until the snowspeeders from Echo Base could reach them. This is a direct allegorical reference to the enfolding of the human race in Jesus's arms when He sacrificed Himself for the salvation of mankind.

Well, that is a level of interpretation that I never thought about when I saw The Empire Strikes Back. My other guest is here to provide a different interpretation of the Star Wars mythos. Please welcome to the show, Dr. --

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…Christian". The Vaseline program…the only show in radio where the audience writes the script! Tonight's program… "The Neediest…

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Gang in the West, starring Don Knotts as
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…Supermaaaan!

Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a…

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missionary man, he's got god on his side
He's got the saints and apostles backin' up from behind
Black eyed looks from those bible books, he's a man with a mission, got a serious mind.
There was a woman in the jungle and a monkey on a tree
The missionary man he was followin' me
He said "Stop what you're doing
Get down upon your knees

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…and start sprayin' Adams
'cause the dog got fleas!

(audience applause)

Thanks guys! That was Dewey Cross and the Skunk
Hollow Wailers singin' "The Missionary Stomp".

(audience applause)

Comin' up next on Nashville Tonight…Sam Jenkins and the River Bottom Singers doin' "My Gal Ain't…

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….ain't mah gal no more.'

'Isn't any longer.' said Smithers.

'I know dat, I jus' tol' you, didn' I?' said Mooky…

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…Mooky? That's your name?

Yep. Dat was my daddy's name and my gran' daddy's name, so dat's what they done named me.

Yes..well, alright mister…ummm…Mooky.

You kin calls me anythin' ya want. Jus doan call me…

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-n will always be men -- no matter where they are……

(Harry Mudd, "Mudd's Women," stardate 1329.8)

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, they said they would be here at Nine;
Now it's after Ten and
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… ten is twenty. Now, what is five and ten? Yes Johnny?

Woolworths?

(laughter)

That's not very funny Johnny. Would anybody else like to…

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-- forget about me!
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't you, forget about me!
As you walk on by--

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…Foolish pride
Is all that I have left
So let me hide
The tears and the sadness you gave me
When you said…

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Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong
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…by the Edsels on Jocko's Rocketship Show on WADO radio!

Hey diddly-ock…this is the Jock…and i'm BACK on the scene with the record ma-chine….correct time now…eleven fifteen!

And hey you daddy-o's and mommy-o's. I want ya to try Golden Spur Wine! But not if your…

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..still half-savage -- but there is hope…..

(The Metron, "Arena," stardate 3046.2)

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…Show" for Swan Soap…with Doris Day, Jimmy Durante, Les Brown and his Band of Renown, with special guest Jack Benny and yours truly, Hi Averback.

(audience applause and the band plays "Thanks For the Memory")

…and here he is…Bob Hope!

(audience applause)

Thanks and Hi everybody! Well, I just flew in from Texas where i'm glad to see that men are men and women are women, especially after California where it's so smoggy you just have to guess.

(audience laughter)

…and that Texas is rugged country…

I fell into a burning ring of fire
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…and it's melting my boots. Tom…you have to do something. Quick!

Roger…I told you not to go near it! Now don't move. Astro and I will attach a cable from the…

..most cooperative man in this world is a dead man…..

(Bela Oxmyx, "A Piece of the Action," stardate unknown)

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He sings!
He Dances!
He Does Unbelievable Tricks!
How about a big hand for
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..I speak of rights! A machine has none; a man must. If you do not grant him that right, you have brought us down to the level of the machine; indeed, you have elevated that machine above us……
(Samuel T. Cogley, "Court Martial," stardate 2949.9)

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…the Waves". Starring John Mills, Theodore Bikel and Anthony Newley. "A slam bang adventure. Singer Anthony Newley is a revelation!" says Rex Reed of the New York Post. Now showing at the Paramount Theater on Broadway and…