"Need the name of an incompetent English general" Topic

I am not trying to start a new "hate thread" here. Rather, I want my VSF campaign (I really like VAG much better, by the way, it's more inclusive of the fantasy stuff) to be set in an English outpost named after some English general, knight, nobleman, king, or whoever that was a well-known screw-up.

The idea is to keep the tone of the campaign light and almost silly. Not quite the slapstick of "F Troop", but a lot of irony, where things get done more or less in spite of the European presence rather than because of it.

Think "Retief" here.

BTW: I could also use the names of a French and Russian screw-up of major proportions. I think I might set this in some forgotten part of the Northwest Frontier, but not yet sure.

lord Raglan.

Arthur Percival.
try to find that pic of him getting off a plane.
Buck-toothed and sporting a huge Wolseley helmet.

Prince of Orange. Always liked his title…

Percival (of Singapore infame)

Methuen, Gatacre and Buller of Boer War time

Edmund Blackadder

Harry Flashman

China Gordon, of Khartoum fame

Samsonov came a little later, but he's a good Russian failure from both RJW and WWI. Or Grand Duke Alexi/Nicholas/Constantin. As long as the title is Grand Duke, he has to be an excess and incompetent Romanov relative, probably an illegitimate one at that.

I don't know FPW generals or Maximilian in Mexico at all, but surely some one from either of those time frames would fit for the French.

Major-General William George Keith Elphinstone
(look him up)

Fort Edmund Blackadder! Lord yes! Thank you for that one!

Hunter-Weston, of Gallipoli ill-repute.

4KingShaw – you must mean picture

Andrew
kings-sleep.blogspot.com

Fire Starter – Are you the new Grape Ape?

There can be only one.

Gordon wasn't incompetent.

A loathsome specimen is Sir Charles Townshend of Kut infamy, although to be fair he did distinguish himself during the siege of Chitral.

General Melchett. Baaaaa.

Percival?

Silly Billy. William of Orange.

I second the vote for Elphinstone. He managed to get his whole army wiped out during the retreat from Kabul in the 1840s.

Hicks Pasha and Valentine Pasha were also highly incompetent in the first Sudan war.

You have probably read the first Flashman book, but if you have not, you owe it to yourself to do so. Flashy's version of the Elphinstone debacle is contained therein.

Elphinstone would have to be a bit of a serious contender there.

"Fort Elphinstone". "Camp Elphinstone".

Yep, that works. Believe I'll steal that, cheers.

Elphinstone is not only hideously incompetent, but the name itself is just so … SWELL!
Unfortuately, his full name is only "William George Keith Elphinstone". Not much silliness going on there. I would have preferred "Beverley St.John Elphinstone".

Fort Burgoyne

Fort Elphinstone does have a good ring to it…

For the French, uh…

Charles d'Albret (Agincourt)?

I can't find anything as spectacular as Elphinstone's disaster. Closest the French come is Napoleon's invasion of Russia.

Franco Prussian War is good for French disasters – Bazaine, MacMahon, and Frossard all work.
great name from the Prussain side – Wimpffen

The Unfortunate Admiral Bing

Not a general of course, but anyone who's name is preceded by the adjective "unfortunate" should at least have some mention somewhere.

Byng.

Fort Elphinstone sounds good to me.

How about Steinmetz for the Prussians? Just because it worked at Waterloo doesn't mean it is going to work in 1870…

Crown Prince Freidrich Karl. Not so much incompetent as wilfully insubordinate to the extent of deliberately doing the opposite of what he was ordered to do.

For the French, Frossard. A name with a slighty rude tang about it….

Not a general of course, but anyone who's name is preceded by the adjective "unfortunate" should at least have some mention somewhere.

I would think that having your name followed by "the Unready" should count for something too. And, poor King Aethelred wasn't just a general, either.

Chelmsford?

Wimpffen was a French general- Emmanuel Felix De Wimpffen.
For a Prussian try Steinmetz. A number of s saw him 'promoted' to the governorship of Posen.

Washington is an old English name and IIRC there was a chap of dubious military ability who bore that name.

I would think that having your name followed by "the Unready" should count for something too. And, poor King Aethelred wasn't just a general, either.

And Charles the Bold/Rash?

Another vote for Elphinstone!

Zapaedo: I assume you mean the same fellow who saved Braddock's column after that gentleman managed to (against advice) stumble into a rather nasty ambush?

Or do you mean the one who managed to bottle up Cornwallis against the coast with the French navy at his back?

Or the one called "Burner of Towns" by the Indians, for his rather brutal-but-effective method of 'pacifying' a frontier area?

Surely, he had his screwups, but 'incompetent'? I still say Elphinstone takes the cake.

I think the propensity for British generals to screw up had something to do with the longevity of the purchase system in their army. Any twit with a lot of cash could buy a rank they had no business holding.

Braddock would actually be a good name to use. As his army falls all around him, he gallantly orders his colonial troops to stop taking cover behind trees.