"Bongolesian Public Pools... would you swim in one?" Topic

Just a quick question for the TMP mind here…

So for those of you that are "in the know" of the African Paradise Nation of Bongolesia, I've recently built a "Publik PooL" for the little Bongolesian Kiddies to frolic in…

Well…we all know how Bongolesia is…

So ummm…if you had a chance to swim in a Public Pool in Bongolesia, would you???

Do they have a croc watch?

STT

Of course not, what with the dangerous crocs, piranhas, and pythons in the waters, its a bit too dicey for me.

No doubt the lack of proper chlorination could be a bit of a problem too.

Sounds like East Timor as the Indonesians pulled out – someone put a very LARGE 'Saltie' – Salt Water Crocodile, likes two legged pork – in a swimming pool, apparently so it would not be killed & eaten, its likely fate if left at the local zoo. It seemed very frisky when a TV crew approached.

Heck yeah. Give me a good ol' gamma globulin shot and I'd do it. As long as I got a guy with a good rifle to take out the crocs. Or I'm allowed to chuck in a couple grenades first.

Beware the pool of death. It has been noted that the defenders of the people only get to swim once, and never return.

Was it bought with funds from the Department of Sanitation and Sewers? What is the source of the water?

Is it named after the famous General Septic?

I can cope with the crocs and pythons etc but is the Candiru or Toothpick fish native to Bongolesia….

damninteresting.com/?p=797

…now that would put me off!!!!

What is the water temperature? I mean if it is warm, who could resist.

What color is the water and can I see the bottom?

Is it as noce as the one at the Presidential Palace (modeled in a conservative fashon ala Hearst Castle)?

Depends on whose "turf" the pool occupies, and whether or not my tetanus shot is up to date.

Publik Pool, no. If the big animals don't get you, the microscopic ones will.

As Saber6 suggests, I'd rather swim in the Olympic-size pool in the Presidential Palace, the one filled daily with fresh sparkling Perrier flown in from France in specially modified air-tankers.

Please note, the State Department, Department of Agriculture, Department of Health and Human Services, Veteran's Administration an Department of Defense have all banned their personnel from going any where near the Bongolisian Publik Pool without having taken the following precautions:

1) Make sure your shot record is updated to include current inoculations against bubonic plague, Measels, Mumps, Rubella, tetanus, Hepatitis A, B and C, rickettsial pox, "the scours," giardia, amoebic dysentery, rockin' pneumonia, boogy-woogy blues, Montezuma's Revenge, encephalitis and gohnaherpasyphalitis.

2) Current training and 6-month qualification with your assigned side arm. Special, note: Don't just wing what you shoot at, you have to land 'em. Two in the chest, one in the head, just to be sure. Don't forget to bring ammo. Lots of it.

3) Don't partake of the refreshments at the snack bar. Take your own, preferably with a hefty dose of alcohol, merely for sanitation's sake. Better yet, just avoid snacks all together.

4) Don't worry about peeing in the pool. Your castings will be the cleanest stuff in the damned place.

5) Emergency dustoff will be executed every hour, on the hour. Last chopper's at 6. Be sure to be on it. You don't want to see what comes out of that place after sundown.

6) Enjoy your stay. Bring sunscreen. And a machete.

I can give you a definitive "maybe".

But either way, I'd keep an armored getaway car nearby.

You'd better like pizza and pancakes, because they are the only things the doctors can get under your door.

Only at gunpoint.

Mark

Crocs Hell! I hear they got them thar Chupacabra critters in them thangs!